Momentary Return

Hello Everyone. I've missed you...

 Its been two years since my thoughts have bleed onto the internet. I want to write more, share more of myself with you. Now, I know I'm not a mega blogger with thousands of readers but is it wrong to feel like I have a connection with someone out there? I hope to have interesting topics to share and hope people will teach me a thing or two.. or ten. 

Adios amigos and I plan to see you here again... eventually :)

I Am Proud to be an Ally {{Quotes}} Ayvazian

While reading interrupting the Cycle of Oppression: The Role of Allies as Agents of Change by Andrea Ayvazian I came across some quotes I found important:

1.       An ally is a member of a dominant group in our society who works to dismantle any form of oppression from which she or he receives the benefit.

a.       This is a very important definition. To be an ally, you have to be a part of the dominant group to make a difference. That means, for example, someone who doesn’t like gay people is insulting a gay man; angry yelling from another gay man is not going to make such a big difference in the situation. However, in that same situation, a heterosexual man defending the gay man might make the other person think twice.

2.       I use the term “oppression” to describe the combination of prejudice plus access to social, political, and economic power on the part of a dominant group.

a.       I agree with this. I never really thought about the word before this class. Now, I see oppression as people who are not treated and appreciated like the “main” dominant people.  But answer me this, how would this country be without the minorities? What would happen if there was nothing to dominate?

3.       Allies are whites who identify as anti-racists, men who work to dismantle sexism, able-bodied people who are active in the disability rights movement, Christians who combat anti-Semitism and other forms of religious prejudice.

a.       Anybody can be an ally because it’s about standing up for something and doing you best to make a difference. If you can make a difference, to help a child in school stand up to bullies or supports someone’s idea, then do it. 

The Struggle of Being Aware .. {Event #2/Reflection}

Ok.

My mind has been tinted. Formed and shaped into the media’s imagery. Over the years, my mind has come to think that I should be a certain way. Many other girls face, what I’m facing. They feel the way I feel almost daily. I have spent countless hours, looking in the mirror, tear streaks on my face, and a magazine in my hand, asking why. “Why can’t I look like them?” “Why can’t I be as skinny as them?” “Why do I have to be the fat one?”

About a month ago, I went to go see a documentary with a friend in my class. It was about how the media affects men, women and children alike. I was able to share a few laughs with my friend and kept my emotions at bay because I kept myself distanced from what the documentary was saying. I heard it and let it go. It talked about what girls put themselves through because of what society says is perfect. I didn’t want to feel what those girls were feeling; I was in a good place. Soon enough, we had a discussion in class today about media ideology. We were watching a video about the Medias ideology about perfect women.  This one got to me. I couldn't help but shed a few tears because I knew what was happening and I couldn’t do anything about it. I know that I was going to talk about it; talk about how the media kinda sucks, go home and look into the mirror and ask “what is wrong with me? Why am I so fat. Why is my skin so awful? Why am I not tall enough?” This struggle I face, I keep hidden. People around me, who try to get to know me would say I am a very upbeat, happy person, when sometimes behind closed doors, I am not. However, the truth remains secreted.  Sometimes I say that I belong in Hollywood as an actress, because I am so good in acting the part, day after day.  I act happy when deep down, I’m fighting a battle. I still continue to look at myself and compare me to others; to really nice beautiful people. I act the role because I don’t want to be asked questions. Questions like “why don’t you see yourself as beautiful?” or “Why don’t you think positive” or my favorite “Why are you over exaggerating?” I try to avoid those questions because I don’t know how to answer them. I try to avoid them at all cost, even if that means putting a smile on and entertaining the people around me.  Now I’m not saying that I am a negative, isolated person from everyone who stays upset crying in the dark.  I’m just saying that there are times, where I would rather just stay to myself and think.

I call this the struggle of being aware. This is when you know the lies being told to you, but your so stuck in the loop, you can't find a way out. I KNOW these are not realistic women, but somehow, I yearn to be like them. It’s weird but sometimes if feel this way the most when people who are about size 4, 5, 6 tell me they are too fat. HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL WHEN YOU SAY THAT? Now my mind is saying “at least you’re not as big as me”, but what comes out of my mouth is “No, you look great. Even so, every girl needs her curves *applies smile*.”

           This is something I never really liked to talk about but I know that there are many girls fighting their wars like I am. I just want to say to those girls: Don’t be like me. Don’t think you ugly, because you are not. Don’t think you're fat, because you are not. Don’t think you’re not good enough, because you are. Have the self-confidence I pray for every day. Have the strength to help others feel good about themselves, instead of worse. Don’t think you can’t wear what you want to wear because of what others think because you can. Be beautiful, because you are. Don’t be like me and hide your emotions to put on a show. Don’t let the media control you and tell you,  you are not good enough, because you are good enough to rule the world.  DO NOT DOUBT YOURSELF.

Do not act like me. Be strong, be confident, and be a voice for those who need it. Be beautiful and simply be you.

I’ll get there soon… 

Media Ideology [[Reflection/Connections]]

I have to say, this reading was somewhat confusing for me to understand but one thing I did get out of it was this term: Ideology. But what is ideology? Good question! According to Croteau, ideology has many meanings. But the meaning that is relevant for this subject is “basically a system of meaning that helps define and explain the world and that makes value judgments about that world. Ideology is related to concepts such as worldview, belief system, and values, but it is broader than those terms” (159-160). Croteau talked a lot about the media’s creation of ideology that was surrounded by violence and religion. He said “after the tragic shootings a Colorado’s Columbine High School in 1999, politicians from across the political spectrum focused on violent video games as one of the causes of the violence” (160).he also talked about how the media was blamed for over exaggerating Clinton affair scandal, causing Clinton's almost-impeachment.

 Another thing that Croteau talked about was rap and heavy metal music. Croteau brought up Eminem’s album called The Marshall Mathers LP. I was only seven when I was nominated for Album of the Year, but this caused some hullabaloo in the media because of the rapper’s angry lyrics, and insulting words towards women, gays and lesbians. Croteau also talked about media’s relation to reality.  Croteau states “the question is not whether such media images are “realistic” depictions because analysts of ideology generally perceive the definition of the “real” as, itself, an ideological construction. Which aspects of whose “reality” do we define as the most real? Those that are the most visible? The most common? The most powerful?” I don’t know if this is what he taught when writing this, but what I thought of was something reading class called Cinderella Ate My Daughter. The images we get from the media, that twist and craft young boys and girls minds to what they THINK is perfect. It’s unrealistic but sometimes we cannot help but get sucked into their money making lies. The media puts out things like the hot thin model, the sexy guy models, t perfect house wife and the man of the house. But who are they to “depict the “appropriate” roles of men and women, parents and children, or bosses and workers?”

To me the main point was to be aware of media ideology because what is said can be twist by media, politicians, etc. 

Four More Years! [2012 Election]

Minutes into the final run... and he takes the lead! He’s running, RUNNING and … Oh My Goodness, He won the race! Barack Obama has won the race. That was a close one folks...

It is true Obama has won the Presidency for another 4 years. And let me tell you, this was the loneliest experience I’ve had being a first time voter, but it’s no one’s fault. So to complete my assignment, I kept my eyes glued to the social networks, especially Twitter and Facebook! People, including myself, were getting nervous on the closeness of the race. Romney was ahead at one point and it had people doubting the outcome. At one point someone who voted for Romney made a fun bet with another person who voted for Obama. My Facebook and Twitter were full of hopeful Obama voters and things like “#TeamObama”, “Obama2012”, and occasionally “#Romney2012”. I did have some good laughs with my peers online but my nerves went crazy watching as the candidates receive votes point by point. At the end of the outcome, we went insane with happiness that Obama has won another term. I am also happy, but I do hope (and have faith) that Obama is going to do everything he said he would...

Now for a victory dance: D

To Be or Not To Be Sex Positive, That Is The Question... [[Quotes]]

    Ok so, there were two articles we had to read this week. One from Wikipedia and another from a blog called “the Frisky”.  Even though the Wikipedia article was AWESOME (-ish), I kind of understood the article from “the Frisky” better. She gave 8 ways to be sex positive.  And even though I am a sex animal in waiting, (getting a ring on that finger ;)) and cannot physically relate to what White said, I think she made some important points. Here are 3 of her points to be sex positive:

1.       Stop glamorizing sex: When I read this, all I could think of was the MEDIA and HOLLYWOOD. Back in the good o’ days, sex was meant to be special and with the person you love. Nowadays, it seems like a lot of people are having sex and it means nothing. In the article, White explains this as “talking about your sex life as if it’s better than someone else’s is glamorizing sex, and that doesn't move the dialog forward.” The fact is “glamorizing helps cement the idea that sex all the time should be the goal instead of knowing your desire levels and honoring those.”

2.       Just because it doesn't turn you on doesn't mean it’s wrong: Feet fetish, balloon fetish, and the people who get turned on by the sound if a blender… they exist, believe me. And there’s nothing word with what starts their motors. All because you may feel “grossed out” about how they are feeling doesn't mean that it’s wrong. Something that turns you on may be the weirdest thing ever to the next person, so how are you to judge? White says “Other sex writers have pointed out that using this kind of knee-jerk, personal reaction as a basis for saying something is “wrong” is what has helped keep LGBTQ people marginalized and discriminated against.” Is there a connection being made here? I hope so: Something (or someone) who doesn't turn you on doesn't mean it’s wrong, it means you’re different… Enjoy that

3.       Know Thyself: Know yourself and know your limits. Don’t feel the need to do what other people are doing. White asks questions like “what is this doing for me? How do I feel afterward? How is my sex life impacting other areas of my life?” to see where she stands and then says “Just because you like something sexually doesn't mean it is good for you. Remember, sex positivity is not sexual hedonism.” Liking something sexual is not a bad thing, but too much of a good thing IS a bad thing. 

Ohh Mommy, I Want The Pink Pretty One! [[Argument]]

This author, Orenstein, argues that the simple things we've known like the Disney princesses, the American Girls, fashion, and the colors pink and blue are influencing the minds of our children, and not for the better.

In this article, Orenstein was talking about how she did not tell her daughter the story of Snow White, to find her daughter at a bat mitzvah playing the role of Snow White in a game. She continues to discuss how the Disney princess invaded young girl’s minds. She asks the question of why girls are so into the princesses. I must admit I was a Disney princess fiend (I still have my princess books to this day that I refuse to give to my younger niece). She explains that one, it was a brilliant market idea and that, two, young have a fascination with princesses and how perfect they are. Up until 2009, Mulan (a girl who posed as a boy to fight in the war) and Pocahontas (an Indian princess who defied her father) where the brownest-skinned princesses. They were both beautiful and had very different roles, but when they were marketed, Pocahontas appeared as her did and Mulan wore a traditional kimono. These princesses were loved but not as popular as the traditional Cinderella, Ariel, Belle Sleeping Beauty and Snow White. In the article, she continues by explaining the making of the famous Shirley Temple dolls. She says that these dolls weren't really for a fashion sense, rather a more “give and receive hope” doll. What I mean by this is that Shirley Temple was around on the times of the Great Depression. President Roosevelt labeled her as a savor of hope for the country. It seemed like every family just wanted that piece of hope.

One thing I found interesting is that is an odd twist of things; girls are freer than boys in our society. It’s not so weird to have a “father proud to buy his daughter hot wheels” but then be upset when his son asks for a “tutu”. Nowadays, there are pink everything: pink tools, pink motorcycles, pink bicycles and even pink tractors, but where’s the blue Barbie’s? (and I don’t mean ken)

The main point of this article, I think, is to be aware of the things little girls are interested in. there’s no problem if they love princesses and want to become one, but let’s just hope she want to become one because she want to be perfect. The media and the market’s obsession with girls obsession with dolls and pinkness has become overbearing. I hope that this weight does not stay on top of your girls, and boys, for too long.